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Staring into the vast unknown of fatherhood
From Heritage Newspapers' Austen Smith
I am going to be a dad for the first time.
For such a simple sentence, that certainly carries a lot of weight, huh?
I don’t believe the entirety of this new chapter of my life has hit me square on just yet, I have been told by several of my college buddies whom now have kids that having nine months of mental preparation helps a great deal.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love kids and I am absolutely thrilled that my home will be filled with the joy of a little boy or girl. I am good with kids, we get along just fine but by and large my experience with small children has been on my terms, you see? For example, I have a brother-in-law who just recently turned nine, on occasion he’ll come over and we’ll play video games, goof around and in general just hang out have fun.
At some point, he goes home and life, as we know it, returns to normal.
But come around Oct. 5 (when Susie, my wife, is due), I shall not be calling the shots anymore, and it is this little fact that has been, well, is there a stronger term for “freaking me out?”
Over the past 30 years of my life I have had limited exposure to child rearing. I am an only child, I babysat once in my teens and wasn’t asked again and I only visit Chuck-E-Cheese’s once in a blue moon to play in the balls and get some pizza.
From my experience with kids, I have essentially learned two things:
* They are basically little versions of us
* We enjoy some of the same cartoons
On top of all of that, I’m a notorious neat freak obsessed with order, regiment and simplicity; an idiosyncrasy that borders on unhealthy. I don’t believe my newborn child will be able to understand that I like to go to the gym around 5 to 6 p.m., I like to sleep in on Saturdays and the fact that I spend a criminal amount of time and energy dedicated to fantasy sports.
So, looking at my disturbingly inadequate knowledge about raising a child and because of my lifelong quirks, my wife decided it was in our collective best interest that I do a little research. Isn’t that nice when you don’t have to think of everything on your own?
In preparing for our arrival, Susie purchased a dense and textbook-like tome from Consumer Products about best buys for babies. All alliteration aside, it is a very informative book and I have been assigned chapters – yes, I said “assigned.”
The chapters I must read, take notes and later be quizzed on are the following: clothing, cribs, crib alternatives, crib bedding, crib mattresses, diapers, diaper bags, diaper pails, formula (even though we plan to breast feed, I’m not sure why I just said “we” there), swings, thermometers, toys, walkers and stuffed animals.
I volunteered to read the chapter on breast pumps but was told that might be counter-productive.
So far I have made it through the chapter on clothing…slow and steady I always say, but I will get there. All joking aside, I am serious about learning more on having a child and creating the safest environment possible for this tiny person who will not be able to defend or take care of its own well being for at least the first several years (I know some of my friends with grown children would venture to say it takes a lot longer than that).
So now I find myself staring the wide and unknown black hole of fatherhood, like nearly every situation I tackle in life, I plan on taking this one step at a time.
Despite my wife’s persistence I believe a lot of our questions and concerns will be answered in a much more organic manner. Experience is everything, and I doubt this is much different.
But, it never hurts to ask for advice. So, I am enlisting all of you – my reading public – to send in comments, advice, suggestions, articles etc., and I will keep a running tab on where we are with the pregnancy and, more importantly, where I am as far as mental preparation.
You can post comments on this blog site, Inside the Newsroom at courierviewnews.blogspot.com, on my Facebook site (search for Austen Smith, or The Belleville View and Ypsilanti Courier) or through good, old fashioned e-mail at asmith@heritage.com.
Now, back to those cartoons…wait, I meant to say studying.
Contact Heritage Newspapers’ Austen Smith at 1-734-429-7380 or email asmith@heritage.com.
I am going to be a dad for the first time.
For such a simple sentence, that certainly carries a lot of weight, huh?
I don’t believe the entirety of this new chapter of my life has hit me square on just yet, I have been told by several of my college buddies whom now have kids that having nine months of mental preparation helps a great deal.
Now don’t get me wrong, I love kids and I am absolutely thrilled that my home will be filled with the joy of a little boy or girl. I am good with kids, we get along just fine but by and large my experience with small children has been on my terms, you see? For example, I have a brother-in-law who just recently turned nine, on occasion he’ll come over and we’ll play video games, goof around and in general just hang out have fun.
At some point, he goes home and life, as we know it, returns to normal.
But come around Oct. 5 (when Susie, my wife, is due), I shall not be calling the shots anymore, and it is this little fact that has been, well, is there a stronger term for “freaking me out?”
Over the past 30 years of my life I have had limited exposure to child rearing. I am an only child, I babysat once in my teens and wasn’t asked again and I only visit Chuck-E-Cheese’s once in a blue moon to play in the balls and get some pizza.
From my experience with kids, I have essentially learned two things:
* They are basically little versions of us
* We enjoy some of the same cartoons
On top of all of that, I’m a notorious neat freak obsessed with order, regiment and simplicity; an idiosyncrasy that borders on unhealthy. I don’t believe my newborn child will be able to understand that I like to go to the gym around 5 to 6 p.m., I like to sleep in on Saturdays and the fact that I spend a criminal amount of time and energy dedicated to fantasy sports.
So, looking at my disturbingly inadequate knowledge about raising a child and because of my lifelong quirks, my wife decided it was in our collective best interest that I do a little research. Isn’t that nice when you don’t have to think of everything on your own?
In preparing for our arrival, Susie purchased a dense and textbook-like tome from Consumer Products about best buys for babies. All alliteration aside, it is a very informative book and I have been assigned chapters – yes, I said “assigned.”
The chapters I must read, take notes and later be quizzed on are the following: clothing, cribs, crib alternatives, crib bedding, crib mattresses, diapers, diaper bags, diaper pails, formula (even though we plan to breast feed, I’m not sure why I just said “we” there), swings, thermometers, toys, walkers and stuffed animals.
I volunteered to read the chapter on breast pumps but was told that might be counter-productive.
So far I have made it through the chapter on clothing…slow and steady I always say, but I will get there. All joking aside, I am serious about learning more on having a child and creating the safest environment possible for this tiny person who will not be able to defend or take care of its own well being for at least the first several years (I know some of my friends with grown children would venture to say it takes a lot longer than that).
So now I find myself staring the wide and unknown black hole of fatherhood, like nearly every situation I tackle in life, I plan on taking this one step at a time.
Despite my wife’s persistence I believe a lot of our questions and concerns will be answered in a much more organic manner. Experience is everything, and I doubt this is much different.
But, it never hurts to ask for advice. So, I am enlisting all of you – my reading public – to send in comments, advice, suggestions, articles etc., and I will keep a running tab on where we are with the pregnancy and, more importantly, where I am as far as mental preparation.
You can post comments on this blog site, Inside the Newsroom at courierviewnews.blogspot.com, on my Facebook site (search for Austen Smith, or The Belleville View and Ypsilanti Courier) or through good, old fashioned e-mail at asmith@heritage.com.
Now, back to those cartoons…wait, I meant to say studying.
Contact Heritage Newspapers’ Austen Smith at 1-734-429-7380 or email asmith@heritage.com.
posted by Austen Smith at
10:04 AM
7 Comments:
Congratulations, Austen. I have zero advice for you other than stay calm and do whatever your wife says.
Way to go guys. Having children is a great part of life.
Dave
"Experience is everything, and I doubt this is much different."
That's the absolute truth! I've been a dad for more than four years now, and nothing I did BEFORE holding my son in my arms really prepared me for what it was like once he was actually there.
Just be sure to enjoy every second of it, man. Time really flies.
Congrats! I am childless myself...I wish I had some sort of advice to offer, but I've got nothing. After watching my nieces and nephews grow up, I definitely agree with Jeremy...time flies!
Woo HOOO! Congratulations to you and Susan. And I agree with the "we" in breastfeeding. You will definitely be a big part of that ... believe me. "WE," as in the editorial Manchester "we," will be watching carefully for the next several months. Need any advice? WE are here!
Oh... PS, is this considered an appropriate anniversary present?? :-)
Oh yeah, you're right Marsha I haven't even thought about it. Truth be told, between this and work and this, thand the other - I haven't had a chance to think too much at all. Hey, do you think you guys would be available say the first or second week of May on a Friday or Saturday? We really do need to get together and I feel terrible I haven't coordinated that yet...
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